A Prophet's thoughts on scripture study:

"Often we spend great effort in trying to increase the activity levels in our stakes. We work diligently to raise the percentages of those attending sacrament meetings. We labor to get a higher percentage of our young men on missions. We strive to improve the numbers of those marrying in the temple. All of these are commendable efforts and important to the growth of the kingdom. But when individual members and families immerse themselves in the scriptures regularly and consistently, these other areas of activity will automatically come. Testimonies will increase. Commitment will be strengthened. Families will be fortified. Personal revelation will flow."

-President Ezra Taft Benson
The Teachings of Ezra Taft Benson, 44

The Last Lecture

If you haven't read it, you need to. My dad lent his book to me a couple weeks ago. I started reading it yesterday afternoon and just finished it. I'm sure you've all heard of it, but if you haven't, it is the compilation of the life lessons and advice Randy Pausch learned throughout his life and summed up at the end when he was given just 3 to 6 months to live after being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. He would be leaving behind his wife and three young children, ages 6, 3, and 18 months. The book is truly inspirational and it helped me to put my life into perspective once again. There is a companion website to go with the book. Click here to go to that website. He has posted a link allowing viewers to watch the "Last Lecture" he gave at Carnegie Mellon before he died. I haven't watched the whole thing yet, but I have seen clips of it.

After reading the book and reflecting on things of a spiritual matter lately, I've again been reminded of the fragility of life. I know we all get wrapped up in the mundane things of life, the things we have to do, but because of that we often lose sight of what is really important. None of us know how long we will be on this Earth, and for that reason, we really need to be living life to its fullest. We need to figure out and grasp onto those things that are most importing in our own lives, not someone else's.

I am so grateful for the life I have been given. I have been so very blessed up to this point, far more than I deserve, but I am truly grateful for and humbled by all that I have. The things that are most important to me are not things, but the people in my life and the relationships I have with them. I truly try to be the kind of person people look up to and know that they can trust and rely upon. I'm trying to become the person I'm meant to become, even if I am a slow learner and feel like I often have to start back at ground zero. I want to reach my full potential. But I think that continuing to try is the key. I hope that I am always doing things in my life that make those who love me proud of the things I do. I hope that I never do anything I will look back on and regret. I am so grateful to have the amazing support system that I do. Especially my husband. I often wonder what I did to deserve to be so blessed to have him in my life.

I hope that I can always keep the perspective of what's important and what really matters. Life is shorter than we realize, and we need to make the most of every moment we have.

The Story of Stephanie Nielson

Thanks, Travis, for all of your hard work in putting this together! It's much needed inspiration to a lot of people!

Confession

First of all, I want to give a shout out to all the MOM's out there! HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY YESTERDAY!! I hope it was wonderful for all of you! And this is probably lame, but I'm going to mimic my Mother's Day post from last year by letting you read it again by clicking here if you so desire to read it again. This time I want to write about me. Lame. I know. But bear with me. I might get emotional. I know I've already written about it, and I'm going to write about it again, but it's not because I want people to feel bad. I just have a lot of things on my mind that I feel I need to write on here for some reason--maybe because someone else needs to read it.

Yesterday was a special day for me for a lot of reasons. It's the day we have set aside to remember the amazing, incredible women in our lives, and thank them for all they have done for us. But for me, yesterday was the first Mother's Day I was even close to being able to spend it as a 1st time mom. Yesterday was the day I was supposed to be having a baby of my very own. It was the due date we were so excited about because it was Mother's Day, and the day before my own mom's birthday. [HAPPY BIRTHDAY TODAY, MOM! I love you!!] It was going to be perfect timing because it was only 1 week after I officially graduated from college.

But, over the last 7 months since the miscarriage, I have learned that Heavenly Father's timing is perfect, even if it doesn't feel like it at the time. You hear about people having miscarriages and that it happens a lot (one stat I read said 1 in 4 or 5 pregnancies ends in miscarriage--not to scare anyone, it's just reality, and hopefully none of you ever have to experience it!!). I never really thought it would happen to us, but we tried to take the necessary precautions--like not telling anyone, except a couple people--that we were expecting. Just in case. We thought we were almost clear to tell our exciting news. 1.5 more weeks and we would have made it through our first trimester.

I don't know if any of you can tell, but "pregnancy" and "babies" consume a lot of my thinking now. I can't help it. And here's where the confession part comes in: I'M SO JEALOUS!! I admit it. I am jealous every time someone announces they're pregnant. I'm jealous every time someone has a new baby of their own to hold. I'm always so happy and excited for them, but so jealous at the same time.

I always appreciate others' attempts at kind words like: "Your time will come." "You guys will be great parents when it's your turn." and my all-time favorite, "Just stop 'trying,' then it'll happen." What the?? I seriously don't get how someone can say "you can't be trying" to someone who has had a miscarriage and wants so badly to have children. Where, in anyone's book, is that okay to say? I am especially sensitive to that one, if you can't tell. But honestly, you don't know what a miscarriage is like until you have one yourself. It has definitely been harder on me than it has on Dar, and that's okay. But he's hurting just like me, and I'm so grateful we have each other to lean on.

But, I never realized until this year, how many women actually hurt on Mother's Day. People like myself, my friend, Denise, who also had a miscarriage and is also still trying to get pregnant again, the many amazing Sisters in my ward who have never even had the opportunity to get married or have children and are now past child-bearing years, the many women out there who know they can't have children of their own, and mother's who have unfortunately had a child pass away before them. Yes, Mother's Day is a very special day. A day where we can honor our own mother's and grandmother's, aunts, sisters, etc. But I think some of us forget how many women out there are hurting when Mother's Day rolls around.

I sincerely hope no one is offended by this post. I only hope that who ever needs to read it has read it. I hope that we can all remember the happiness Mother's Day brings, but I also hope that we will all be extra sensitive to those amazing women out there who find themselves hurting on Mother's Day!

The Testimony of Job

Oh that my words were now written! oh that they were printed in a book! That they were graven with an iron pen and lead in the rock for ever! For I know that my redeemer liveth, and that he shall stand at the latter day upon the earth: And though after my skin worms destroy this body, yet in my flesh shall I see God: Whom I shall see for myself, and mine eyes shall behold, and not another; though my reins be consumed within me.

-Job 19:23-27

Powerful. And I have to agree completely. Thank you, Job!

I have the best life!!

I feel so overwhelmed with emotion right now. Emotion of gratitude to my Heavenly Father for the amazing life He has given me! Yes, some people might think my life is just average when they look at me and it probably is, but I feel so truly blessed that I can't help but think that my life is EXTRAORDINARY!! A HUGE part of my feeling is the incredible husband I have. He amazes me each and every day when he looks me in the eyes and I can see the love he has for me. I honestly feel like I'm living my "Happily Ever After" right now. I feel like my life has completely changed since I met and married D. He truly inspires me to be the best I can be. I know that he'd do anything for me. My life is blessed in so many other ways too, but I don't have time to write about them right now. I am so glad that my Heavenly Father loves me enough to send me this amazing man that I get to spend this journey of life with, and that I am privileged to be sealed to him in the temple so that we can live together for eternity! I love you, D!

Grab a box of Kleenex's!